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Paralogue 10: Nose in the Book, Head in the Clouds
The Shepherds march along, Julius leading for the day and singing songs, which Green is eagerly singing along to. Julius: And we'll never be ROYAALS~ Green: ROYALS. Josh: Um, I hate to interject, but Green, aren't you a royal? Green: That I am. Doesn't mean I can't sing along, does it? Josh: I guess you may do whatever it is you please, but... Bella: Josh, don't bother. Green wouldn't stop singing if we were attacked by a horde of Risen. Green: That's right. Now where were we? Julius: Right! Kate: Having Julius lead the march is always an experience. Chloe: You could say that again. At least Green enjoys it. Josh: Pardon my further intrusion, but is that not a group of people on the horizon? Sam: Oh dear. Guys, get ready for anything. A group that big can't be good news. Florence: If they're bad, kick an extra ass or two for me, baby brother. Knifez: You've got it Flo. You just take it easy. Florence: Already planning on it. Nearby, a band of experienced thieves marches through the plains. One of them, a relatively new recruit, has his head buried in a book and fails to notice when the convoy suddenly comes to a stop. As a result, he bumps into the person directly in front of him. Thief: Hey, watch where you're going, buddy! ???: Apologies. You know how I be. Thief: Yeah yeah, you get lost in your head, yadda yadda. I've heard it all before in your stupid gibberish. Now get your head out of that book and start paying attention. ???: Right. Sorry. Thief: Good. Hey boss, why're we stopped anyway? Boss: I see someone coming up on the horizon. ???: Oh, are we going to, how you say...eeeeeeeh...attack them? Boss: No, you dolt. A lot of someones. I think a group's comin' up on us. Thief: Oh no! It must be them Shepherds! Boss: Shit! ???: Shepherds? Surely we are being able to rob sheeps blind without trouble. Thief: Not actual Shepherds you dumbass, the Waydrn Shepherds! ???: Ah, right! We are attacking them, yes? Boss: You're not serious. ???: No I am Bohl. Boss: ...Okay, let's try to get out of here before we're spotted. Suddenly, an arrow pierces the ground in front of his feet. Boss: Too late! Men, we fight! The convoy of thieves charges forward, some of them falling before the battle can even begin thanks to Pika and Dakota's arrows. When the thieves finally meet the Shepherds, the battle immediately begins. Bohl smirks as he pulls out a magic tome. He quickly rushes to the front of the group, his free hand coated in flames. When he reaches the front lines, he raises his hand menacingly, as if aiming for Knifez. When Knifez raises his sword in defense, Bohl spins around on his heel and fires at the man he ran into earlier. Bohl: ARCFIRE! Thief: Aaah! Bohl, you team killing fucktard! Aim for the enemy! Bohl: But you are the enemy. ` Joos: What the...? Bohl: I've been under the covers for months waiting for to run into you Shepherds! Now that I have, we can finally put the end to this gang's thievery. Thief: Traitor! Bohl: I was never on your side. With another cast of Arcfire, Bohl puts the thief out of his misery and starts fighting alongside the Shepherds. They are briefly confused, but gladly accept him into their ranks. Spencer: Hey, Bohl! Bohl: Spencer! You made it okay! Spencer: Nice to see you made it too, bud. On your right. Bohl: Right. How you been, brother? Chase: What?! Spencer: No no, hold on. The term you're looking for is bro. He's not related to us. Bohl: Oh. Sorry for confusion. Slang terms are...iffy for Bohl. Chase! On your behind! Chase: Phrasing... Spencer: To answer your question, I'm doing fine, I guess. So far none of our parents have died, so that's good. Bohl: Mom and dad are here then? Spencer: That they are, old buddy. Bohl: Oh yay! Danica: Oh look, it's good ol' Cereal Bowl. So you convinced these doofuses to trust you? Bohl: Was not hard. They are dumb as a potato sack. Danica: I can tell. Impressive, though. Didn't think you had a lying bone in your body. Bohl: Was hard. But I did it! Danica: Good job. Despite Bohl and Danica's confidence, the rest of the Shepherds find the gang quite powerful, but manageable. Knifez and Rachel fight side-by-side, covering each others backs and helping out teammates as necessary. At one point, Sam has a brilliant idea. Sam: Oh. My. God. I just thought of the best strategy ever. Pika: What's that? Sam: Signele! Bring Maggie here! It takes a moment, but his shouts are heard over the sounds of battle and Signele and Maggie appear before them in their monster forms. Maggie: What do you need? Sam: This is going to sound weird, but can we ride you? Pika: ...Sam this is already the best idea you've ever had. Seconds later, Sam is riding on Maggie's back, cackling madly as he slings thunder spells at enemies. Sam: Why didn't I think of this sooner? This is awesome! Maggie: Totally! The manakete launches a fireball into a crowd of enemies before joining in on Sam's laughter. Pika, meanwhile, launches arrows at thieves astride Signele's back. Pika: I stand by this. This is the best idea Sam's ever had! Signele: I sure hope this works...be careful where you aims your arrows, yeah? Pika: Of course! Where else am I gonna shoot them? Signele: Eh, just...saying. They ride past an awestruck Aloasa. Aloasa: I want a turn, I want a turn! Signele: Ew. I mean, no. No thank you. Aloasa: Hmph. Somewhere else on the battlefield, the brigands have Green and Bella back-to-back, outnumbered and surrounded. Bella: This looks familiar. Green: Why do you say that? Bella: The two of us against a band of brigands, hopelessly outnumbered. Green: Yeah, I guess. We have help this time though. Bella: Not right this second, but yeah I guess you're right. I take the fifteen on the right and you take the fifteen on the left? Green: My left or yours? Bella: Mine. Green: ...Screw you, I'll take sixteen. Bella: That's the spirit! The gang jumps at the two royals, weapons swinging. They use their mounts to fly high into the sky and watch as several thieves end up impaling each other on their own weapons. Green: Ha ha ha! Works every time! Bella: You'd think they'd see the wings on our mounts and figure out what we're gonna do. Green: Yeah, you'd think. Let's take care of the rest! Bella: Right. Elsewhere, Chase is cutting down opponents one after another and is blissfully unaware of one of the thieves slipping a hand into his pocket and stealing a small book. As the thief starts to sneak off, he is caught by someone nearby. Anna: Chase, behind you! Before Chase can react, Anna swoops in and cuts the man's hands off. He drops the book and Anna does her best to grab it before it gets covered in blood. She stabs the man and lets him fall to the ground before walking back to Chase and handing him his lost item. Chase: Oh, my notebook! How'd you find this? Anna: That guy over there tried to steal it. Don't worry, I got your back though. Chase: Thanks Anna. Anna: Hey, what's in that thing anyway? Chase: It's just a notebook I use to jot down story ideas and stuff. No big deal. Now shouldn't we be focusing on something else? Anna: Right! She walks off, pulls her sword out of the man's chest and continues cutting down enemies. Chase: Weirdo. Meanwhile, Josh and Joos team up to dispatch a group of opponents. Josh sends a weak wind spell their way and cuts them up pretty bad. Josh: Hey Joos, these brigands appear to be a bit chilly due to the breeze I sent their way. Care to warm them up a tad? Joos: Why, I'd love to. The tactician grabs a potent fire spell's tome and flips it open, pretending to be very interested in what's written in it. Just when the thieves start to recover from Josh's attack, Joos' expression lights up. Joos: Arcfire! A wave of flames washes over the brigands and they fall to the ground as charred husks. Josh: If only there were any ice magic to make that joke work better. Joos: Ah, we can think of one, probably. Josh: You think so? Joos: Let's talk the logistics of it when we're not in the middle of a battle, eh? Josh: Right! The battle draws to a close and the leader of the band of brigands confronts Bohl personally, seething with rage. Boss: Bohl, how dare you strike down your own brothers-in-arms! You've been one of us for so long, just to turn around and betray us. Bohl: Ha! The Shepherds are my brothers-in-arms. Always have been and always will be. The boss thief, a trickster, pulls a bloody Levin Sword from his pack and charges at Bohl with the magically-charged weapon. Bohl: Where'd you find one of those? Boss: Swiped it off some merchant. Now it'll run red with your guts! He swings the sword at Bohl, who casts Arcfire on the ground in front of him, creating a wall of flame. The head thief's swing sends his hand straight into the flames, though the heat doesn't affect him until after the sword nicks Bohl's shoulder, giving him a shock. Bohl: Gah! Boss: AUGH! The head brigand screams and lets the Levin Sword drop to the ground, giving Bohl time to switch out which tome he's using. Bohl: Elwind! The sharp wind magic slices the thief's hands off, and he stumbles backward, screaming in pain. Bohl makes a move to switch tomes once more, but before he can, Bella rides by and finishes the job by impaling him on her lance. Boss: Curses...A million curses to you...Bohl! Burn in...hell. Bella: Hey, save one for me, will ya? I'm the one who killed you. She kicks him to the ground and lets him bleed out. Bohl: Ha ha! Much thanks, mother! Bella: ...What. Bohl: ...Uh, bye! Bohl rushes off, only to be confronted by Knifez. Knifez: So you were waiting for us, huh? Bohl: Oh yes. Months. I was at wit's end working with those idjits. Knifez: ...What just happened to your voice? Bohl: Oh, ehhh, is my, how you say, schtick. Knifez: Well I don't like it. Go back to talking normally, please. Bohl: ...Alright. Josh: Hey, you! You introduced yourself as Bohl, correct? And you called Bella mother? Bohl: Father!! Josh: Fitting that one as smart as I would help give birth to such a smart, talented young mage. I can't wait to converse with you at length and discover just how much of my intelligence you inherited. So, um, how would one go about pronouncing your...unique name? Bohl: … Josh: ...Bohl? Bohl: … (Keep it together Bohl. Speak normally for your father... Don't let your thoughts get jumbled...) Josh: Hello? How to pronounce your name? Bohl: ...You are to be calling me Bohl! As like for breakfast cereal. Josh: What the dickens is wrong with your voice? Bohl: I am speaking like this most times, yes? It is long story. We will have much ample time to share these stories once we are slapping the road, yes? Bella: He's yours, alright. Josh: Hey, he's nothing like me! Knifez: That boy's gonna give me a headache. > PARALOGUE 7: ALL BUNS GO TO HEAVEN < SUPPORTS Current Party The Shepherds *Knifez. Great Lord. Captain of the Shepherds and Prince of Waydrn. Treats his men firmly but fairly. *Grace. War Cleric. An affectionate and cheeky Shepherd with a possessive streak. *Joos. Grandmaster. A traveler with no memory of the past, but a gift for tactics. *Sam. Grandmaster. The Shepherds' original, no-nonsense Tactician. *Florence. Great Lord. A Shepherd and Knifez's sister. Always ready to lend an ass-kicking. *Jimmy. Great Knight. A quiet Shepherd who knows exactly when to get to work. *Pika. Sniper. A peppy Shepherd, always ready to follow her Tactician's command *Josh. Sage. A meticulous, methodical Shepherd with just a bit of whimsy. *Dakota. Assassin. A formidable Waydrnite thief with a grim outlook on things. *DJ. Swordmaster. A noble from Frar who knows his way around a sword. *Chloe. Valkyrie. The downright kindest Noble Frar ever did see. *Green. Wyvern Knight. A funloving Tostian dracoknight. Has a penchant for stabbing first and asking questions later. *Bella. Falcon Knight. A Tostian “noble” whose love of her country is rivaled only by her love of her horse. *Chase. Mercenary. A Sellsword with a love of tall tales and romance. *Signele. Taguel. Last surviving inhabitant of The Domain. Also a giant bunny sometimes. *Julius. Dancer. A gifted dancer with a flair for philandering and caffeine. *Maggie. Manakete. An innocent Manakete with a penchant for theatrics. *Kate. Knight. A knight who's probably just as confused as anyone. *Sarah. Wyvern Rider. A gifted Wyvern Rider who prefers the term "realistic." *Kayla. Mage. A hyperactive mage who can't wait to prove herself as more than just a kid. *Aloasa. Dark Mage. A dour Tostian with a knack for curses and hovering. *Anna. Trickster. A world-traveling merchant who loves money and big spenders. *Rachel. War Cleric. Constantly picks fights, but is better at healing than punching. *Heroi. Mercenary. Really good at what he does, but goes unnoticed until he's gone. *Joanne. Cavalier. A quiet knight who waits for the perfect moment to speak up. *Daniel. Hero. A Frarian warrior who hopes for the best but expects the worst. *Taylor. Knight. A horse-loving girl who's incidentally really bad at riding horses. Future Children *Spencer. Myrmidon. An enigmatic man who thirsts for a better world. *Danica. Trickster. A cunning, flirty girl who could rob even the greatest thieves blind. *Bohl. Mage. An confusing youth with incredible intelligence and not so great speech patterns. Information *This paralogue was originally posted to the Total Drama Writers' Forum here. Category:Story Category:Paralogues